Monday, March 20, 2017

This time, i started writing.

Sometimes, life gives you no choice right?
So did I.
Im sad that my mom still didnt change,
Still treat me like im a 6 years old girl,
Its love but love should let the beloved one happy.
When everyone knew that i cant meet exo bcs of my mom's permission,
Everyone was like 'Weh sedihnya...' 'Sabarla haida' 'Nnti ada la tu rezeki'
I usually didnt talk much abt my family, bcs its our family right?
Takkan nak citer benda buruk.
But rn im so cracked, sad, depressed....
I thought that when i changed to be a better daughter,
They will change too.
They will let me live, decide for my own life.
Im already 21 years old.
I can think baik buruk, i can take care of myself.
Its not like i will forget Allah when i did this,
But nothing's changed..
They still same, the old them.
Somehow i feel like; omg why they still dont realized why i become so passive with them before??
Why i cant share all my stories with them??
Why i should doing something without telling them?
They still didnt realized it..
They still didnt know the reasons,
The reason why i cant be a daughter like what they wanted,
Because they never knew me at the first place.
I thought time will change everything,
But its all useless, hopeless....

Thats why i cant stay at home for a long time,
i will depressed...
Bcs u cant derhaka with ur parents right?
so the best way to elakkan semua tu,
jauhkan diri with your home.
Im sorry,  but i really disappointed this time.
I always pray to Allah that u will change your mind one day,
knowing your kids well, dont let my brothers and sister depressed at home,
we really hope that u will open ur mind soon, sorry.

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