Friday, March 24, 2017

Senyum.

Kita lihat dia senyum,
Kita lihat dia gembira,
Kita lihat dia senang,
Kita lihat dia kaya-raya,
Kita lihat dia berjaya,
Kita lihat dia kuat,
Kita lihat dia tabah,
Kita lihat dia kosong,
Kita lihat dia redha,

Tapi,
Kita lupa lihat satu benda,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kita lupa lihat dia menangis.


p/s; i swear life is hard, i swear it is.i cried a river for knowing all of these.

Monday, March 20, 2017

This time, i started writing.

Sometimes, life gives you no choice right?
So did I.
Im sad that my mom still didnt change,
Still treat me like im a 6 years old girl,
Its love but love should let the beloved one happy.
When everyone knew that i cant meet exo bcs of my mom's permission,
Everyone was like 'Weh sedihnya...' 'Sabarla haida' 'Nnti ada la tu rezeki'
I usually didnt talk much abt my family, bcs its our family right?
Takkan nak citer benda buruk.
But rn im so cracked, sad, depressed....
I thought that when i changed to be a better daughter,
They will change too.
They will let me live, decide for my own life.
Im already 21 years old.
I can think baik buruk, i can take care of myself.
Its not like i will forget Allah when i did this,
But nothing's changed..
They still same, the old them.
Somehow i feel like; omg why they still dont realized why i become so passive with them before??
Why i cant share all my stories with them??
Why i should doing something without telling them?
They still didnt realized it..
They still didnt know the reasons,
The reason why i cant be a daughter like what they wanted,
Because they never knew me at the first place.
I thought time will change everything,
But its all useless, hopeless....

Thats why i cant stay at home for a long time,
i will depressed...
Bcs u cant derhaka with ur parents right?
so the best way to elakkan semua tu,
jauhkan diri with your home.
Im sorry,  but i really disappointed this time.
I always pray to Allah that u will change your mind one day,
knowing your kids well, dont let my brothers and sister depressed at home,
we really hope that u will open ur mind soon, sorry.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Yakin.

Bila mana kau melepaskan sesuatu yg kau sayang demi Allah,demi kedua ibu bapamu,
Yakinlah Dia tetapkan sesuatu terbaik untukmu.

Allahu.
My dream falls into pieces, this feeling is same as when i have to let someone that i loved go for everyone happiness.
That time will come haida, sabar.